- When are you going back to Africa, are you finished there?!

People ask. And I reply that I just got back to Copenhagen after three weeks in Belgrade, where I spent one week in hospital to be treated for malaria, and add - that I am not going anywhere for some time. I realised that there is this little scary thing at the back of my mind pulling me from going anywhere difficult. Like a sort of thing saying danger ahead. (Even when my Icelandic brother-in-law tries to convince me that my involuntary time off from Uganda opens up for the option of visiting Iceland for his birthday, I grab myself thinking - those vikings know shit about acute malaria).

The thing pops up when I try to visualise myself committing to organised shopping in Kampala (for an up-country stay), packing my car, driving the 450 km up-country, settling in my house in Arua, and trying to move around West Nile to work. I know my hesitation is grounded in a combination of the fear of another malaria attack (I feel too week for another round) and the fact that I get tired by the thought of the practicalities of making my way round in Uganda.

Basically, I am drained for energy. I loose my breath on walking up stairs. I still have anaemia, and the doctors are also here mentioning blood transfusion as a way out. I am still too worried about long-term impact, and too shocked about my own reluctancy to face my malaria for me to see the potential advantage of the facts that two rounds of malaria in three weeks already is an amazing topic for conversations with all kinds of people.

Fortunately, I know from previous periods in my life of i.e. severe work stress, that in spite I suddenly loose my appetite for life, I know it will return if I work on restoring myself. But in the beginning I hate it, I think it is a waiste of time to take time off, do nothing and bore oneself. But it is necessary. Which is why I am back in Denmark for a couple of weeks, a rather excellent place to be off alcohol, bore myself in the countryside, visit the hospital for regular check-ups and plan the next move.

I must not forget to thank to my Serbian friends, who made it possible for me to survive malaria treatment in a public Serbian hospital. One thing was the professional female Doctor Lidija, but my Serbian friends made it bearable. Even though they were busy, they came for visits, brought me supplementary and edible food, litterature, clean clothes, toiletpaper and soap!

Finally, I have been very touched by comments on my blog from people who follow. I appriciate your concern a lot! Thanx!

Comments

[Kathy]

Hi! I've checked out your blog quite a few times; found it on The ONE campaign site. I'm so sorry to hear of your having malaria. It is a terrifying beast, and one of my main fears for travelling and working in Africa in the future.

I will be praying for you, and a vaccine for malaria!! :)

God bless you,
Kathy

[The 27th Comrade]

It's simple matter of coming back where you belong ... :o)